Gryffin's Tail has moved!

Gryffin's Tail has a new home. It got too hard to mirror to this site. I don't maintain this site anymore.

Subscribe via email will subscribe you to the new site feed. Below is an RSS feed of the new site.

To all my email followers, I've transferred the Feedburner address to the new site so you should start receiving emails again. I didn't know this page stopped mirroring until a day or so ago. I'm sorry you've missed out for the last few months but the good news is that I don't post much so it'll be easy to catch up!

*

*

RSS feed of the new Gryffin's Tail site

*

*

Subscribe via email to the new site

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

*

*

Tweets!

*

*
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

From autism to ADHD



My son's triennial assessment is going on right now and I just filled out an interesting parent form. One I haven't seen before but knew instantly what it was when I read the questions. ADHD questionnaire. I searched for the name of the test and found it on the side margin, Connors 3.

In so many ways, this is good news (so far). It looks like it means they no longer think he has autism (yay, me! I worked hard to get it that way!) but now they want to assess for ADHD.

To be honest, they could've just asked me and saved us all the time. Yes. There ya go, no need for a questionnaire. In everything I've done, I've managed to deal with the autism but the ADHD is still such a huge problem. I'm not sure what more I can do.

Gryffin had a diagnosis of moderate to severe autism and to see the autism fade has been more than I could've ever dreamed but sometimes I look at the ADHD issues and think it's harder to crack than autism ever thought it could be.

Who knows, maybe we'll have our IEP and instead of saying they don't think he has autism, they'll say they think he has autism and ADHD. That ought to be a riot since the autism diagnosis specifically excludes any other diagnosis as part of the condition.

But I don't think that'll happen. When I see Gryffin, I see ADHD, not autism.

Sheesh. It's hard to even think about it right now.

Friday, January 21, 2011

It's finally happened



Social networking has gotten too big for my poor twitter.  I have too many things on my plate and I need to organize it better.  I had to separate it all out so here is my new Twitter @Gryffins_Tail.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Yes, I've been neglectful...



*sigh*

It's tough being an autism mom. I haven't done well keeping up with this blog. But I shall continue to try. To be honest, I think less and less about autism as my son recovers. It's not fair to others that I would like to help but it's nice for me to know that autism doesn't take over my life anymore.


I would like to pose a question, what topic would you like to see me post about? Any burning questions? Something you don't understand? I may not have the answer but I'm sure willing to do my best to try...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Finally, I think I'm all caught up!



After a pretty long vacation, I think I've caught up on my backlog of things to be posted. Next week, I'm starting my "at least one original blog a week" effort. Next week's blog will be on yeast. We'll see how I fare on my effort of maintaining one original blog a week - wish me luck! Maybe I'll also find time to post all the old information, news and studies and I have collected to share...

Monday, June 15, 2009

On vacation!



I'm on vacation for the next few weeks so posts will not be as forthcoming as I've been lately. I'll try to make sure that I continue to post but forgive me if I'm a bit lax. I'll have a lot to go through when I get home and that's motivation for me to at least try to get some things posted while I'm away! ;)

We went to Stone Mountain in GA and the boys had a great time! Gryffin found a group of friends to play with after the laser show with their light up swords and it was great to see other kids respond to his requests to be involved. We've had one incident already where I had to tell a young lady at the pool that she didn't have to let him play with his toys but being mean wholly unnecessary. She changed her attitude quick but it's nice to not have to force the issue. Good kids are always a pleasure to be around and I was so pleased that he found some! Tynan was a bit shy so he didn't join. He very sadly looked up at daddy and said, "Daddy, will you play with me?" It was so pitiful that it melted the world around us... He's only 3 so he was a bit afraid of the other kids but he and daddy did get some good playing in!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

General Ed, A Dream Realized



My son is not your typical child with autism but really, what child is typically autistic? Over the years since he's been in school, I've always told the school district that he is not a good candidate for mainstreaming but the response has always been, "this is how we do it" or "children with autism do better with slow transitions". Unfortunately, how they do it and how my son does it are two very different things. My son does not do well with slow transitions. He does better if he's just thrown in the mix. He's an all or nothing kid. If the choice is between mainstreaming and full inclusion, ditch the mainstreaming because he isn't going to succeed in two class settings.

Mainstreaming is when they take a child, slowly build up the time this child will spend in a typical class until they are deemed able to be there full time. Generally, mainstreaming doesn't start until at least a month into the new school year. Long enough to understand the routine of the class they are entering. Of course, this does nothing for understanding the routine of the class they are going to mainstream into. Or build relationships and bonds with kids by starting a class from the very beginning and learning the routine and rules together. So by the time he starts the mainstreaming process, he has already understood that the SDC class is his class and he has formed relationships as best as he can with the kids in his SDC class that will allow such bonds and he enters a new class for an hour and a half a day with kids he has never met. This new class provides no bonds, friends are paired up already, and he doesn't view the teacher as his teacher. To him, this new class is a vacation from his other class; one he sometimes wants and sometimes doesn't.

This went on for two years. And for two years, I kept telling them it wasn't going to work. Academically, he's at or above grade level and he really doesn't belong in an SDC class. I've even been told by the school district that he doesn't even qualify for SDC but his behavior is preventing him from going into full inclusion. Behavior I always told them would happen if he was mainstreamed. I get notes from school on how can't focus, he doesn't sit still, he wants to roam around the room and play with toys, wants to talk to the kids, he pretends his hands are airplanes or he pretends he's a power ranger. (Hello!? Anyone home??? He's pretending! And wanting to talk and play with the kids! Isn't this supposed to be a good thing? Doesn't that tell you something??) He isn't bothering with the class because he knows it's not his class! He hasn't formed any relationship with the people and children in this class so why should he bother? He knows if he doesn't he'll get to go back to his class with his friends. Trying to make friends in a class that is set up for you to not get that chance is a pretty bum deal.

He's smart and he's very social. Even with a class full of kids that are either non-verbal or not social, he still manages to make friends. And he cares about them and wants to be with them. As his mother, I know that these are not the friends that will benefit him by modeling proper social skills and pragmatic language but I also can't deny that he cares about them and wants to spend time with them. He pushes them into a relationship that he wants but they aren't very good at cultivating so he does the work and they just need to play along. And many times they do. So again, why would anyone be surprised by the fact that he doesn't do well in the mainstream class when his friends aren't there?

Last summer I placed him in a typical summer camp because I knew that he could do it even if the school district didn't. It was such a wonderful experience and the staff gave me daily reports that I gave to the schoold district. He did so well and I even had an aide tell me she would never have known he had any issues if she weren't assigned to him as his aide. Ah, those beautiful words from this lovely angel! This was something he started from the beginning and was just thrown into and he did beautifully. And the school district was blown away but he was still placed into mainstreaming this year.

Now that you know the back story, let me tell about my latest IEP. I was in heaven! It was the best IEP I ever had and yes, even though he is only currently in SDC kindergarten, I've had a lot! I didn't have to ask for anything - it was all offered! I expected a fight with the current budget crisis and rumors had been flying around that were making me very nervous. I was basically offered the moon as far as I'm concerned!

So next school year, my son will repeat kindergarten only this time he will be in general ed, with a shared aide with several other wonderful services. I can't believe that it's finally happening and I will admit, I'm nervous. But I'm too excited for him to dwell too much on the nervousness. He will now get to experience starting a class with typical peers from the beginning, bond with them and gain much needed pragmatic language. He's always learned best from his peers and we will hopefully have found the last piece of the puzzle to full recovery. His last remaining issues are with expressive and receptive language and a lack of focus but maybe in this new, exciting and challenging environment, his language will catch up faster. An improvement in focus would be nice but that might be asking a bit much. We can dream, though! I had one dream finally happen, why not this one?

Who knows what this future will hold, it may be a miserable experience but I'm going to go with the idea that it's going to be fantastic. If that changes, so be it but for now I'm just going to enjoy this ride and expect the best!

During this IEP season, I hope you all have as wonderful an IEP experience as I did!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

We're back!



We had a wonderful vacation and now we are trying to get settled back in here at home. As soon as we are all settled, I'll be posting like a mad woman.

Lots of things to discuss but before that happens, dh and I have to finish our countertops since he goes out of town again on Sunday.

Expect to see the posts start rolling in this weekend. Monday at the latest.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

I know, I'm supposed to be packing...



I am. And I know I am. I'm supposed to be letting this all go for the next couple weeks but I have to share something wonderful.

My son is currently in a typical summer camp with an aide and it's been a dream. He has done so well and today was, sadly, his last day since we are getting on an airplane in just a few hours. His aide has been giving me glowing remarks every day and thankfully, she also gives me a detailed daily report. I swear, this is better than his past school year as far as communication. Today he had a new aide as his usual aide wasn't available and she said the most amazing thing to me.

"I never would've known he was anything other than a typical 4 year old with a lot of energy!"

That's right. My son. I nearly cried. I nearly cry just thinking about it and I'm holding it back as I type this right now. My son is so close to recovery and I can't wait to tell you all about how we've done it when I get back.

Have a great couple of weeks!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Wow, I've actually got some comments!



I guess I have to actually start blogging more even though the store isn't finished. I'll try to manage my time better since at least 2 people have read my blog! :) Thanks to both for the comments!

I'm going on vacation next week so I may not be able to blog until I return but who knows, maybe I'll toss some around while I'm there.

I've gotten most of the informational blogs started - mostly to remind me of what I'm doing - so I'll start with finishing those up first when I get back.

The boys are doing great and after 3 years, I finally have kitchen counters in!!!! Yes, folks, no more temporary melamine counters! We poured our own concrete countertops and they came out beautifully. We still aren't completely finished, though. They still need to be sealed and topcoated and then we need to put the trim and backsplash in but once it's done, I'll post pics! I'm very excited, in case you couldn't tell. 3 years of living with a not so well attached faucet to a temporary countertop that wasn't made for an undermount sink wasn't fun.

I'll be back with some real information on autism soon. Hearing about my countertops isn't exactly edge of your seat reading, I know.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Gryffin's Tail - Setting the stage...




I was sitting there, pregnant and in an old 24' travel trailer in the driveway of my house which was torn apart. On purpose, even. When we first bought our house, we took one look at the view and knew this was our house. We couldn't remember what the inside looked like which was quite apparent when we bought our "grown up" furniture but the view was exactly right. We knew that no matter what the house looked like we could make it better. And thus, we bought it, went back to our rental and simply waited to be able to move in. We bought furniture. Furniture that turned out to be much too big for our house but furniture that didn't fold, wasn't used and cost us a small fortune and we felt proud. We were newlyweds and we could now count ourselves as homeowners in a suburb.

We moved in and imagined all the wonderful plans we had for our house and we couldn't wait to afford them. Of course, we had things to fix and inevitably a leaky faucet would somehow turn into almost a whole new bathroom but that's another story... Anyway, we dared to dream. We decided to try for a baby. I was pregnant immediately. This pregnancy didn't last long or end well but we tried again and in 2 months we were pregnant. This one stuck. It wasn't an easy pregnancy but I managed. During this beautiful time we had the brilliant idea to move forward with our renovation plans. We got the home improvement loan and plugged it all into place.

So that brings me back to pregnant and sitting in an older 24' travel trailer in my driveway. 2/3 of my house torn down to bare studs. I could see straight through from the front of the house to the view out the back. We had been "living" in this travel trailer and the one room in our house that hadn't been touched which was soon to be formerly the master bedroom. My son, Gryffin, had just qualified for Regional Center Services. I still wasn't quite aware of autism, though. My husband was worried about autism from the beginning. Me, I had a strange absence of thought regarding autism. Even when I looked up symptoms of head banging there was enough on the web to make me feel, "No, it's not that". So many sites simply said many boys do it. When I told our pediatrician our concerns I was poo pooed. "Oh, he's a boy" or "Oh, it's no big deal" or "Oh, he'll grow out of it" or "Oh, it's okay that he doesn't eat a lot" or any number of "Oh's" you can think of so I felt pretty confident that my son was fine. This went on for months. As long as I had a "professional" telling me my son was fine I was more than happy to believe.

Our pediatrician never even referred us to the Regional Center when she finally did say he should be looked at by someone else after passing a hearing test when he 2. She tried to send us to a developmental pediatrician which would have been fine if they took insurance. So I called her back and told her that they didn't take insurance and asked if she knew what else I could do. She had me call a speech therapist which turns out doesn't take insurance either. The speech therapist proceeded to tell me all about why she was better for me to take my son to than the Regional Center. This was the first time I had heard anything about the Regional Center. I had no clue what it was or what they did. But I continued to listen to her and said, "uh huh" in all the right places knowing that as soon as I got off the phone with her I would be researching the Regional Center. As it happens, the Regional Center should have been the first call I ever made and I will be eternally unhappy with our pediatrician for not referring us there in the first place the very first moment we started mentioning concerns. While we waited for RC, we went to a speech therapist through our insurance. Speech Therapy was recommended but the hassle to get through it all and get it started was horrendous. By the time we got everything taken care of through our insurance we had Regional Center services so we never even went through our insurance.

When Gryffin was evaluated his speech was zero, his cognitive skills couldn't be measured and when our OT did her eval she said he was the hardest child she's ever evaluated. She literally could not breathe in order to keep him sitting in her lap to see what he could do. If she took a breath he felt it, would be reminded that he was in her lap and would take off running around the gym area. He simply couldn't stop moving. He ended up with about 12 hours a week of various services. 2 sessions of OT, 2 sessions of ST, 2 sessions of Group Therapy at 2.5 hours a piece and in home Child Development services.

I thought, well, maybe this is what ADHD is since he couldn't keep still and he just has ADHD and is a late talker. But as we started our services I saw all the other kids there, many with autism. I saw how he was very similar to them and I learned about stims and how to recognize them. He certainly had stims. But they were also very different from the other kids so I still had a little doubt that he had autism. He didn't bang his head the way the other kids did. He would bang his forehead and not the back of his head by rocking. It wasn't a soothing head bang. He would bang his forehead on the floor, wall or any other surface but only when he was angry or frustrated. He would try to make himself cry in order to manipulate me into getting what he wanted so I saw that as something all kids do and not a sign of autism. He didn't rock, spin or flap. He didn't finger posture, his eye contact wasn't horrible (but it wasn't great, either) and he wasn't rigid or routined. The stims he had seemed so minor and he certainly seemed to me (at the time) that his symptoms were "lesser" symptoms. Knowing what I know now, there is no such thing as "lesser" symptoms but hey, we all live and learn. He would stare at ceiling fans, blinds, put things up to the corner of his eye and stare down the line, speak in jargon, hold wheels up to his eyes, spin wheels on cars, line up toys, felt no pain, no concept of hot or cold and he had such high proprioceptive needs it was insane. He starting jumping constantly, I kid you not, at about 4 months old.  He would sit in his jumper and jump, jump, jump till the cows came home. We initially didn't like for him to be in his jumper for too long because all those lovely parenting books like to tell you how they shouldn't be in an entertainer for too long but rather should have plenty of interaction. Well after a while of doing nothing but holding him while he jumped in our laps our arms were too tired to keep up with that bit of advice and into the jumper he went. His vestibular system was completely out of whack. He never felt like he was moving and he was constantly searching for that feeling. My parents and grandmother noticed that he didn't smile much. This was something that I never noticed as he seemed to smile and laugh with me all the time. But then I realized that in comparison to other typical children it just wasn't the same. What very few words he had disappeared before he even started RC services. I hadn't even noticed. I asked myself over and over, "When did that happen?"

He didn't start his services until just under 2.5 years old and at that point we knew for sure there was something wrong we just didn't know what. But as the days went on to weeks in Early Intervention I knew it was autism. They had given me a CARS worksheet and a copy of the DSMIV criteria. He scored right on the borderline between moderate to severe on CARS and as I went through and wrote all of his "symptoms" right next to each category, I totaled them up only to discover, yup, he qualifies for the diagnosis.

I accepted it immediately and went to work on figuring out what was next. My husband, on the other hand, had a much harder time accepting it. He never fully accepted it until we had our RC Psych eval at 3 years old. Once he got that diagnosis from the RC he had a difficult time coming to terms with it and it took him over a year to fully come to a place of acceptance and even out his emotions. It was a hard transition for both us to adjust to the news and how we both handled our reactions and our reactions to each others' reactions. He would seem to get mad at me for having such an "easy" time accepting it and I would get mad at him for having such a "hard" time accepting it when he was the one with the suspicions in the first place. The truth is, it wasn't easy for either of us and we simply handled it differently. He's more emotional and I'm more pragmatic. He would dwell on the fact that this was his worst nightmare and I would set out to learn what to do about this nightmare. The clash of the two polar opposite personalities wasn't easy to navigate.

Our beautiful and happy new baby, Tynan, had arrived and we were finally able to move back into our house after 6 months of living in our driveway. Somewhere along the line of deciding to remodel our house we had made the decision to do the finish work ourselves. Really dumb. It was bad enough that we got Gryffin's diagnosis after our house was torn down (something we would never have done had we known beforehand) but now we were moving back into a house with no kitchen, no floors and just barely had insulation and drywall. We made a temporary kitchen while we waited for our cabinets to be built and pulled out our much too expensive appliances that we bought before we knew our son was going to need a lot of therapy that costs a lot of money. We painted the bare drywall and slowly put our house together as best we could but we knew our progress would be a lot slower than we had originally anticipated since our funds were now being split into several different directions.

That didn't help our situation any. The financial strain, the emotional strain and just trying to get through it all was heinous on both of us. I was constantly searching for signs in Tynan and it was driving my husband nuts. I felt relatively comfortable that my son was typical but I also didn't trust that feeling since I obviously didn't hit the mark with Gryffin. I felt like I must be missing some mommy gene that controls mommy intuition and I didn't have a full set. I could handle kissing the owies, loving and caring for my children, playing and hugging but when it comes to something as serious as knowing when something was wrong I was lacking some intuitive connection with my kids. Why was I not connecting? Did that mean I wasn't truly bonding? What kind of mother could I possibly be if I don't have the intuition to know if my kids aren't okay? So I watched him like a hawk. It was the only thing I knew how to do. Before Gryffin graduated out of Early Intervention I had them evaluate Tynan. He had one thing that I thought was incredibly odd and was terrified that if I didn't act I could lose precious time like I did with Gryffin. He would throw himself upside down in your arms and wanted to be upside down all the time. I felt a huge weight taken off my shoulders after the evaluation came back at age level or better. I felt like maybe I could trust myself a little now. I finally let it go with him but I don't think you ever stop looking.  I did manage to stop stressing. My husband was thankful that I was able to stop worrying about Tynan as it didn't help him to get through his feelings with Gryffin at all. It just added more to the weight he was carrying.

But we made it through. We have come out on the other side as a team working to recover our child and raise our children as best we can. As I worked through all the biomedical interventions my husband slowly starting wanting to know more and more. He had always been supportive of my efforts with Gryffin but just wanted me to fly the plane while he sat in the passenger seat and worked his fingers to the bone to pay for the fuel. He didn't complain about the cost or the effort although sometimes he did fell I was "obsessed". I'll admit I was and I still am obsessed. I research constantly. As time has passed, so has his passenger status. He is now becoming closer and closer to being my co-pilot and the love and appreciation I feel for his efforts is immeasurable. He won't get full co-pilot status until he knows what meds and supplements Gryffin is on, when he takes them and why takes them but he's getting there. Until then he will remain a "co-pilot in training" and I will continue to write a schedule down on a piece of paper and be grateful that he is involved and more importantly, wants to be involved.

Through this blog, I hope to help others navigate through the web of autism and all that it entails. Everything from biomedical interventions, therapies, politics, vaccines and IEP's. From birthday parties to sleepovers.

By the way, my house still isn't finished but we're getting there. You may read posts occasionally on the progress of my house - assuming we don't ever lose it. We still have a hard time financially but we manage to pull through. You may read posts on Tynan. You may read posts on just about anything. But my goal is to help others, especially those who are new to an autism diagnosis that have an interest in trying to recover their children through biomedical intervention. Gryffin is doing well and recovering every day. He's not fully recovered but he's getting there.

Gryffin's Tail is Gryffin's tale. His tail is broken but he is not. We will tend to his tail and with time it will mend. It may have a kink or two but don't we all?
 

Gryffin's Tail © 2010

Blogger Templates by Splashy Templates